in vis

de cand am plecat, de cand am ajuns aici, visez mii de vieti, infinite sfarsituri, iubire, razboi, arta, crima, decizii stranii si pasiuni ale unor fiinte care poate ca nici nu exista, inca... camioane colorate inarmate si soldati fara mila, copii ascunzandu'se in spitale din secolul trecut sau alergand in slow motion prin poieni de acum miliarde de ani... prieteni si cunoscuti amestecandu'se in toata tragi-comedia asta atat de greu de suportat si de inteles... lectii ca niste ghicitori direct de la zei. zbor cu pasarile si inot in lacul adanc, ma pierd in intuneric prin padure si ma agat de o raza de soare ca sa scap de iepurele despre ale carui intentii inca nu sunt convins. si totul e la fel de real ca aceasta clipa. in fiecare noapte, fara exceptie, continuu, imens de intens. nu stiu cum sau daca toate astea se vor mai termina candva. chiar daca se intampla sa mor, ma trezesc; de fiecare data, in alta parte. unde poate ca iadul e paradis si invers. si atunci, totul, din nou, de la capat... fara sfarsit. daca s'ar putea, eu as vrea sa nu dorm niciodata. nu'mi place sa ma opresc. pentru mine, noaptea, intotdeauna e mai greu. dar mult mai frumos.

DE CE ?

moartea ia numai ce lasi in urma
trecutul insusi
daca ai totul cu tine mereu
esti nemuritor
nu'ti poate lua nimic
insa e grea vesnicia
ca inseamna sa nu te doara infinitul
sau sa il iubesti cu tot ce inseamna el
intre moarte si vesnicie e un taram
acesta
aici
momentul alegerii
sub greutatea unei intrebari
de ce?
si nu e nici o umbra in atata lumina
pentru ca nu se poate proiecta pe nimic
e o holograma in vid
o parere
de rau poate
visul cuiva
implinit sau nu
poate ca nici nu mai conteaza
poate a uitat de el undeva
intr'o amintire
careia nu'i mai da drumul
si nici nu stie de ce
a naruit lumi posibile in nebunia destinului
a creat pustiu in paradis
si lumi de basm in inima iadului
a fugit de momentul alegerii
s'a ascuns ca intr'o joaca
zambind cu lacrimi in ochi
in fiecare nou vis
insa de data asta nu mai e la fel
distanta dintre vesnicie si moarte
e mai mica decat oricand
momentul alegerii
impovarat de povestea fara sfarsit
ademenit de ultima suflare
scufundat intr'o nefiinta cat o clipa
oricand as merge oriunde m'ar atrage oricine ar incerca
se intampla oricum
acum insa e altfel
e in alta parte
alta data
un vals de adio cu toate papusile din decor
izbucnind in lacrimi
razand
invaluit de amintirea cea mai draga
invaluit in dor
materializand gandul in forma unui cabaret
dand viata mortii in fiecare seara
la fiecare reprezentatie
pentru aceiasi spectatori
mereu altii
si tobe si focuri mari si samani
portretizand nimicul in arta
devenind intru sacrificiu
sfarsitul momentului
alegerea n'a fost facuta
paradoxul s'a nascut
inceputul sfarsitului vesniciei
raul din inima raului
riul din mijlocul desertului
vantul care poarta nisipul
din urma pasilor nostri
ruine de temple ale zeilor uitarii
creezi imaginand
crezi crezand
esti fiind
dintotdeauna pentru totdeauna
de ce?
am uitat de unde a inceput totul
de aceea evit sfarsitul
inca
si cu toate astea
iubesc paradoxul clipei vesnice
care trece
peste mine
peste noi toti
si nici macar nu stim de cand
nici macar gandul nostru nu ajunge pana acolo
de'aia nu stie nimeni
nu apartinem de nicaieri si nu ne apartine nimic
decorul e putred
sta sa cada
fat frumos a ratacit drumul inapoi
pierdut prin cele sapte tari
dincolo de sapte mari
in negura din care
din cand in cand
ploua soapte
noaptea
la luna plina
atunci cabaretul isi inchide usile masive
nu intra nimeni
iar cei furisati inauntru
nu vor mai putea iesi
papusile prind viata
si valsului ii bate inima
rupe vraja
alunga blestemul
cortina cade ca o ghilotina in aplauzele infricosatoare
papusile in extaz
ovationand agonia
iar eu nu pot opri sangerarea
mai e o vesnicie pana ce zorii vor redeschide usile
momentul alegerii e intotdeauna unul aparent nepotrivit
si nu asteapta consecintele
acestea il prind intr'un tarziu din urma
calatorind prin timp
nascand constiinta
de ce?
e doar un vis care si'a pierdut mintile
si incearca sa se implineasca
pe visator in zori il va parasi viata
lasandu'l sa creada ca a fost alegerea lui
o crima cu sange rece
se va trezi
in cabaretul lui
pregatind o noua reprezentatie
uitand tot ce'si aminteste
amintindu'si sa uite
punctul nu va mai sari pe ecranul aparatului
va desena numai o linie
va insemna un sunet neintrerupt
sa'l scoateti din priza
ma face sa rad
izbucnesc in lacrimi si adun cioburile de oglinda
refac cenusa ceea ce a fost inainte de foc
prefac vesnicia in clipa si o omor
raman singur si ma duc dupa ea in pasi de vals
se ascunde dupa cortina
pe neasteptate una dintre papusi scoate un pistol
si trage in reflector
nu o recunosc dar imi amintesc parfumul
urmatorul glont m'a nimerit in calcai
urmatorul in stomac
ultimele patru au fost din ce in ce mai precise
genunchi
cot
umar
ochi
vesnicia speriata a fugit pe usa din spate
v'am zis ca de data asta e altfel

20 august 2011, Ploiesti

BUCURESTI

cumva
am ajuns aici
in acest punct

cuvinte de diamant
soapte ca niste lacrimi
tigari stinse
flacari aprinse

marele oras
muzica
istoria
fratii
scenele
dubita albastra
alte orase
alte tari
alte mari
inimile
noaptea
ratacirea
drumul inapoi in iad
luminile
drumul inapoi din iad
s'a implinit
visul
tot

de o mie de ori
de la capat
fara frica
razand

moartea ne'a vizitat si niste prieteni
au mers cu ea
iubirea pentru ei niciodata

n'am uitat nimic
pe nimeni
nici o secunda
nici un zambet
nici un oftat al nimanui
nici un ultim tramvai iarna
nici o alee din nici un parc
nici un vis colorat
e totul viu
in acelasi timp inghetat
ca pentru totdeauna

marele monstru de ciment
arta si pasiune
alta dimensiune
monument al suferintei
a fost bun cu mine
mi'a purtat noroc
13 ani
invers

aici m'am intalnit cu mine
din nou
si am ales
acelasi drum
prin oglinda de fum

de data asta a fost aici
si acum
si atunci
si data viitoare
exact cum am promis

luna plina si ploaie de stele
cam asta e

VISIONS

part 1

ancient people of the infinite sun
it is time to remember how to live as one
admit you always knew what we came here for
accept your sacrifice and be willing for more

the pineal gland as a light never sad
you have powers to distinguish the good from the bad
after everything will perish it will rise again
like the sun and the moon like the evil and men

a sky beneath the sea and an endless field of gold
there you will find again the souls that you have sold
we shall be reborn as the ancestors agreed
the ones that we're made of decided we will live

if you believe in angels you will be free again
they look just like you
please listen to them
they're sayin' your words so trust your own faith
send back the work of darkness
become the universe

I invoke the spirits to open us the doors
I'm asking their forgiveness for all the bloody murders
we met strange dimensions unknown until now
we'll never die again
they're teaching us how

drown in this magical never ending story
forget about time and it's passing glory
dream the crystal death in your consciousness self
forget the laws of space on that dusted shelf

be good they say
follow the sphere they say
have no fear they say
come home they say

part 2

the dreams are the path to unknown
dream and find ways do discover
it is you when you're resting from hell
it is heaven of energy consuming the matter
a matter of time
a matter of words
a matter of faith
a matter no more

the big old bird staring at me
from that big old tree
it seems to be
it seems to me

a lotus flower in front my eyes
a scarab a stone and the cross of all times
a key is the ring from the mother of all
the fog is hiding the mirror of soul

a good day to start a new end for fun
a good day to go out and buy your first gun
the rain that is falling is that autumn again
it is such a good moment to kill your best friend

that's not another illusion
you're not faking this one
you knew it will happen'
you knew that day will come

and after a while
not knowing what to do
you finally realize
your best friend was you
now shoot
don't look back
no future
no tears
no purple shadows
no borders
no fears

in a black frame you picture
the way you will fade
you pray for the pills
to keep you awake

part 3

loose control
is a one way ticket to the realms of bliss
find the balance
between the lies and truth you were promised
heal the ending
embrace the new beginning with your broken heart
watch the rain
what if it would be for the last time

you see yourself in the mirrors
you know you have thoughts and you breathe
you wonder what miracle brought you here
you understand that you live just to give

an unbreakable chain remembered you how it started
reinventing the myth that you thought was forgotten
a queen dressed in velvet wearing a crown she don't want
only to make you aware of the life that you found

numbers are symbols and words are insane
strange images pictured when livin' in vain
a big storm is coming
dark clouds for tomorrow
then you will wear the crown
of infinite sorrow

so now is the moment
when you choose
not to follow the screen-play
so now it is happening
when you loose
writing a screen-play

ride on the back of the infinite snake
fly with the hawk in the heart of the lake
you waited so long for yourself to return
so she was right about being reborn

we will meet again
like never before
I die my own death
and I'm asking for more
I love you
good night
and the days gone bye
two livings of hope
which sometimes cry

THE RABBIT IN THE MAGIC BUS

I

what is this all about
where are we coming from
what makes us bleed and breathe
what's giving us this form

when are they coming back
what's gonna happen then
it's not a question if
the question it is when

so take your chances now
don't loose a minute please
we're needing all of you
and you know what it means

the power is in you
buried so deep inside
the truth from which you run
the sun you try to hide

you will remember me
you won't see me here
there are no borders now
and there's no more fear

I'll hit you in the face
I will tell you good night
no need for you to beg
it is too late to fight

II

forgive yourself and fly
the shadows are no more
alone you're dead and gone
the evil was a whore

sorry for the delay
I never meant to leave
but I am here now
my gift is to forgive

and everyone will see
no one will can deny
you have faith you will see
nonbelievers will die

where are we coming from
where are we going to
we heard a million lies
so what you gonna do

follow the white rabbit
don't even say a word
the words are meaningless
shut up and watch the road

I'll do what I have to
the necessary wrong
to understand the life
and I will become strong

III

the big city's burning
the evil died again
I am the next omega
I am a holly man

last night I dreamed I died
I dream a lot these days
the hope is coming back
I only hope she stays

I took the magic bus
a million miles away
you'll never find me now
I'm too far gone today

the snake becomes an owl
stone circles on the height
the forest and the wolf
are spirits of the night

the lake is hiding me
inside the seventh sun
the rabbit knows the way
he tells me I'm the one

and now that I have failed
the stronger I've become
i met my other self
i know thy will be done

from circle to sphere

one day
i was walkin by
in the valley of death
dressed in black
one fight
i was fighting back
a war inside my heart
dressed in black

but right there
in the middle of nowhere
right across the big street
summer heat
it was
so very unreal
for myself to feel
what was next

surrounded by a strange bliss
i sold my soul for one kiss
the dream so far is goin' alright
i'm not dead in the absence of life

"eye"dentify with everything in this world
smoke peace with the devil
now you're both strong
and fuck the guns
for your sons
give happening a chance
circle completed
mission acomplished
password inserted
let the rabbit go

u don't need to be forever young
u already are forever
why wait?
trust yourself
have faith
do it no matter what.

without the first word
there's no story to tell
the beautiful truth
revealed by the bell
it's not enough to want
it's not enough to can
imagine real fiction
understand

the mother
the father
the sister
the brother
another
another
another
it's our turn

beyond and back

it's not about a girl and a boy
it's about the sun and the moon
it's about the son and the mom
about angels and stars about to become

i remember some waves
and the seven days
and the seven nights
when i saw your eyes
not waves of the sea
not waves of an ocean
pure vibration
in every dimension
stay awake man
don't go
it is happening now
don't be afraid
even if
u never been that far

one two three four five
i've been waiting for this all my life
six seven eight nine zero
i'm no longer dead
no longer a hero

that day changed it all forever
and now i'll never stop the game
i'm not going back to nowhere
i am always somewhere
the moon was right
the feeling to jump of the building
ran with the demon
back to hell
my eyes saw the other option
choose to be the chosen
be alive

don't loose the hope u are almost there
live to give
remember to share
there is an escape through the mountains to the ocean
experience life with this new perception

this will never end
so please stop pretend
i know u're a liar
you are not my friend
right here
is another mistake
waiting to be done
by you

sound of a rain of stars
fool moon night
the seven sins
doin' all right

a film

flowers in the gold field
not letting you go
the fairy with that spaceship
letting you know
mysterious mountains
hide a treasure to share
lost in the jungle
you have to play fair

leave behind the lie
and then you shall slide
the treasure has no meaning
for ego or pride
diamonds gold and silver
a story of words
instantly will kill
the soldiers with swords

if you have a good heart
the gate will let you in
if you are a bad guy
you'll pay for the sin
travel with a speed
bigger than the light
through the universe
not willing to fight

god is the best you can be
evil too
heaven's on your way back from hell
and so are you
we're doin' the sun dance
on the moon
get ready for the contact
someday soon

i just got it
love a dream
wish what you're waintin' for
live in a film
jump in the sky
life will never die
stars child
into the wild

the birth
the life of the father
the love
the son of the mother
the death
the holly ghost

the trinity in a circle
one circle of a sphere
imagine one of them
crystal clear
heal my heart
save my world
feel my thoughts
disolve me